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Excuses, Excuses

Posted by savannahkase on April 26, 2015 in Personal, Second Child |

This is the longest I have gone without blogging since I started this blog almost two years ago.  It is not for lack of material; to the contrary, I have dozens of ideas waiting to be written.  My hiatus is not even because I’ve been too busy.  Although two kids, a full-time job, some social life, buying a car, and searching for our first home has been hectic, there are still moments of calm.  Rather than dedicating that time to something “productive,” as is my wont, I have been trying to preserve some of the compassionate self-care I generally only afford myself while pregnant.  Rather than racing to accomplish one thing after the other, I have been experiencing and enjoying this juncture in my family’s little world.  Even on days where we hardly leave the house, so much is happening as we transition from a threesome to a party of four, as my son begins to speak, as my daughter starts to engage with the world, as I redefine how I work from home, as my husband adapts to being outnumbered by his kids, as we prepare to leave our urban lifestyle for the suburbs, and more.

Growing up, I felt that something had not happened until I wrote about it in my journal.  Only when recounting the events and emotions of my everyday life did they become a part of my life story.  It was not about recording things for posterity; I almost never re-read old diaries.  Rather, it was the process of putting experiences, feelings, dreams, lists, doodles, poems, and fears into black-and-white that helped me make sense of them.  I think faster than I write, so journaling forced me to slow down.

Just some evening tummy time

Just some evening tummy time

Being pregnant also forced me to slow down, and when I did, I discovered that – at least in my house – there is no such thing as “doing nothing.”  Sometimes just sitting on the couch, with my daughter asleep in my arms and my son doing a puzzle at my feet, is the highlight of my day.  I could write about how much I adore the way my daughter nuzzles into my body as if trying to get back inside, or how proud I am of my son who is now teaching himself how to do new things through trial and error, but then I would not be experiencing them as fully.  So during these past few weeks that I have not been blogging, I have been living.

That said, there really is a lot I want to write about, so I’m going to start posting regularly again.  Stay tuned …

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